The Retired Man and the Cop

My friends who still work frequently ask me what I do every day now that I'm retired. Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and entered a shop; I wasn't there for even five minutes.

When I exited, a cop was filling out a ticket for double-parking. I quickly approached him and said, "Wow, officer! I didn't spend more than five minutes in the store! God would reward you if you made a kind gesture toward an old, retired man such as myself." He completely ignored me and continued filling out the ticket. The truth is, I went a little overboard, so I apologized. The cop looked at me coldly and started to fill out a second ticket, saying that besides being double-parked, my license plate was crooked. I then raised my voice and called him every name in the book. He finished the second ticket and placed it under the windshield wiper. I didn't desist and continued to insult him with all I had. To every insult, he smiled vengefully and filled out yet another ticket. After the fifteenth infraction, I told him, "I'm afraid I must leave you, officer—my bus has arrived!"