Music Jokes

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Bad Case of Loving You

Robert Palmer: "Doctor, doctor, gimme the news! I got a bad case of loving you!"

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Bassist Lightbulb Joke

How many bassists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

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Beethoven's Favorite Food

What was Beethoven's favorite food?

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Beethoven's Fruit

What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?

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Beethoven's Movement

What's brown and sits on a piano bench?

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Bobby Brown's Renovation

Anyone hear about Bobby Brown's latest home improvement?

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Broken Tuba

How do you fix a broken tuba?

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Broken Ukulele

I broke my new ukulele the other day...

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Cheap Concert

What kind of concert costs 45 cents?

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Chicken's Favorite Composer

Who was the chicken's favorite composer?

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Christian Bands Software

Why do Christian bands only record with Pro Tools?

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Cliff Drums

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

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Coldplay Inspiration

How many members of Coldplay does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

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Country Song Backwards

What happens when you play a country song backwards?

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Davy Jones Believer

I didn't believe my girlfriend when she told me Davy Jones had died.

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Deadmau5 Cats

Do cats like Deadmau5?

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Directions to Carnegie Hall

A concert pianist was waiting for his wife outside a midtown department store.

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Drummer on the Porch

How do you get the drummer off your front porch?

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Drums Falling

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.

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Drums Off Cliff

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.

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Drums Off a Cliff

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.

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Dubstep Problem

I really can't stand listening to dubstep...

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Dubstep Shower

How many dubstep fans does it take to clean a shower?

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European Jazz

I went to Europe once for a Miles Davis concert.

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French Rap Group

I was listening to some old-school French rap the other day.

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George Clinton's Mints

What kind of breath freshener does George Clinton use?

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Ginger Baker Coffee

What do black coffee and Ginger Baker have in common?

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Hard-to-Find Records

I went to a record store today. They advertised that they had hard-to-find records.

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I Will Survive (College Version)

"I Will Survive" (College Version) At first I was afraid Now I'm petrified That I just can't keep m...

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Jim Morrison Crossing

Why did Jim Morrison cross the road?

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Lead Singer

How do you know when there's a lead singer on your porch?

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Lost Lion

Why did the lion get lost?

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Mozart and Chickens

Why did Mozart hate chickens?

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Musical Fall

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a ledge...

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Musician Friend Joke

What do you call a guy who likes to hang out with musicians?

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Musician vs. Pizza Joke

What's the difference between a musician and a large cheese pizza?

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Nickelback Fans

How many Nickelback fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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Nickelback Songs

If you play a Nickelback song backwards, you hear a message from the devil.

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Philip Glass Knock Knock

Knock knock. Who's there?

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Reggae Percussion

I got a job playing with a reggae band.

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Rhymes with Snoop

What's brown and rhymes with snoop?

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Sandwich Hallelujah

Alternate lyrics to "Hallelujah":

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Seal Clubbing

Seal walks into a club...

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Skrillex Phase

I went through a Skrillex phase.

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Sleepy Jean

My elderly, narcoleptic neighbor burst into tears when I told her Davy Jones had died.

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The Bagpipe Player

Strange Neighbors

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The Composer Bartender

Which 20th-century composer would make the best bartender?

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The Edge's Delay

U2 guitarist The Edge walks into a bar.

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The Greatest Drummer

A mailman is baffled at how to mail a letter addressed "To the Greatest Drummer in the World."

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The Jazz Record

I went to a record store the other day...