Puns Jokes

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24-Hour Cleaning Service

A traveling salesman was passing through a rural town in Vermont and decided to take a little time o...

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A Collection of Short Jokes

Q. What happens when you run in front of a car?<BR> A. You get tired!<BR> <BR> Q. What do you get fr...

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A Collection of Short Jokes and Puns

Do you know why God created man first? Because he didn't want any advice! At the annual snail race,...

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A Dad's Puns About School

Dear Dad, $chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $t...

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A Dark Pun

It's very dark in here. -- Wai So Dim?

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A Day Without Sunshine

A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

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A Diet Observation

I thought you were on a diet. -- Wai Yu Mun Ching?

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A Flight Delay Question

Has your flight been delayed? -- Hao Long Wei Ting?

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A Frayed Knot

A piece of string walks into a bar.

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A Hug

A hug goes a long way. ( ) Consider yourself hugged!

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A List of Slogans and Puns

10. If This Goat Cart's a Rockin', Don't Come a Knockin' 9. If You Ain't MOSLEM, You Ain't SHIITE ...

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A Not-So-Bright Observation

You are not very bright. -- Yu So Dum

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A Parking Reminder

This is a tow away zone. -- No Pah King

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A Pun About Dirty Birds

Fowl jokes? Those dirty birds!

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A Punny Name

I think you need a facelift. -- Chin Tu Fat

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A Simple Question About Children

Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there any girls?

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A Spelling Checker Poem

Eye halve a spelling chequer. It came with my pea sea. It plainly marques four my revue Miss steaks ...

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Aardvark Lady Gaga

What was the aardvark's favorite Lady Gaga song?

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Abstract Noun

"An abstract noun," the teacher said, "is something you can think of, but you can't touch it. Can yo...

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Acute Bronchitis Holiday

Why did the man with acute bronchitis go on holiday?

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Ad for a Mac

I was listening to the radio the other day when I thought I heard an ad for a Mac...

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Address Labels

Q: What's sticky and makes paying your bills easier?

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Age Evasion

Nurse: How old are you? Patient: None of your business. Nurse: But the doctor must know your age for...

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Airport Turnstile

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

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Aladdin in Van Halen

If Aladdin was in Van Halen...

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Algebra Class Confiscation

A rubber band pistol was confiscated during algebra class.

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Algorithm Punchline

Algorithm

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Alligator in a Vest

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

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Alphabet Grenade Wordplay

Beware of alphabet grenades...

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Always Be Mist

R.I.P. Dense Water Vapour.

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American Pizza in Japan

An American businessman goes to Japan on a business trip, but he hates Japanese food, so he asks the...

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American in the Bathroom

If you're American when you go into the bathroom and American when you come out, what are you *IN* t...

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An Unauthorized Execution

That was an unauthorized execution. -- Lin Ching

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Animal Puns Opinion

What do I think of animal puns?

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Animal Tests

Why can't animals take tests?

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Answering Machine's Instructions

"Thank you for calling Adventures in Telephoning Unlimited. "If you wish to leave a message for Bi...

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Ant Religion

Why don't ants go to church?

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Anteater Anty-bodies Joke

Q. Why don't anteaters get sick? A. Because they're full of anty-bodies!

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Antenna Wedding

Two antennas got married.

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Antifreeze

How do you make antifreeze?

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Ants and the Dotted Line

Two ants were running across the top of a cracker box when one stopped and said, "Why are we running...

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Apartments

Why are they called "apart-ments" when they are all stuck together?

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Ape Calculator

What do you get when you cross an ape with a calculator?

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Apple Store Looting

Looting has hit London's Covent Garden.

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Apple a Day

My brother forgot his apple today.

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Apple-Eating Horse

Q. What do you call a horse that eats apples?

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Apt Pupil Pun

"Apt Pupil" turned into "Apartment Pupil"

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Archaeologist Career

What's an archaeologist?

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Archaeologist in Iraq

I've been working as an archaeologist in Iraq for a number of years now. I've really been enjoying m...

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Archer and Gift-Wrapper Pun

Question: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper? Answer: Ribbon hood.