Religious Jokes

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'No Excuse' Sunday

To make it possible for everyone to attend church on Sunday, we are proposing to have a special 'No ...

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A History Lesson

God made, Adam bit, Noah arked, Abraham split, Jacob fooled, Joseph ruled, Bush talked, Moses balked...

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Adam and the Garden of Eden

After the fall in the Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons Cain and Abel.

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Adam's Bargain

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, "What is wrong wi...

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Agnostic Pagan

I am an agnostic pagan. I doubt the existence of many gods.

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Allowance Sermon Request

Dear Pastor, I'm sorry I can't leave more money in the plate, but my father didn't give me a raise i...

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Allowance vs. Health

Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon where you said that good health is more important than money, but I...

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Alphabet Prayers

A grandfather was walking past his young granddaughter's room one night when he saw her kneeling bes...

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Angels, Greed, and Sacrifice

Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude...

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Arafat and the Psychic

Yasser Arafat, not feeling well and concerned about his mortality, goes to consult a psychic about t...

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Atheism Definition

Definition of Atheism: a non-prophet organization.

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Atheism and Kleenex

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

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Atheist Insurance

Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?

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Atheist vs. Loch Ness Monster

An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness mon...

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Atheist's Holiday

An atheist complained to a friend, "Christians have their special holidays, such as Christmas and Ea...

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Atheists and Lightbulbs

How many atheists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

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Baptismal Anchor

At one point in my life I had considered joining the Baptist Church. For those of you who don't know...

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Baptist Church

The 2000 member Baptist church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The preacher w...

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Behind Schedule

I'm convinced God put me here to accomplish a certain number of things; right now, I'm so far behind...

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Bible Belief

Do I believe in the Bible? Hell, man, I've seen one!

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Bible's Chicken Road Passage

THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the r...

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Biblical Haircut

A preacher's teenage son gets his driving permit and asks his father to borrow the car.

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Bill Gates and St. Peter

When Bill Gates died, he went up to Heaven, where Saint Peter showed him to his house; a beautiful 2...

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Billy's Lost Quarter

Mother gave Billy two quarters. One was for his Sunday School offering. The other was for an ice cre...

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Bingo-Loving Mother

Dear Pastor, My mother is very religious. She goes to play bingo at church every week even if she ha...

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Bishop and the Vision

A Bishop was approached one morning by a Priest. "Your Eminence," the Priest said, "there's a young ...

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Bless My Computer

Every evening As I'm laying here in bed This tiny little prayer Keeps running through my head God b...

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Boy Finds Adam's Underwear

A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Su...

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Brainwashing the Baby

A father is in church with three of his young children, including his five-year-old daughter. As wa...

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Brandi and the Lotto

A blond woman named Brandi finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she's in se...

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Brother John's Silent Monastery

Brother John entered the 'Monastery of Silence' and the Chief Priest said, "Brother, this is a silen...

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Buddhist Hot Dog

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor.

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Cantor and the Insurance Money

A cantor, the man who sings the prayers at a synagogue, brags before his congregation in a booming, ...

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Children's Prayers

One little girl began her prayer like this: "Our Father, who are in heaven, hello! What be Thy name?...

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Chosen One

I was going to tell a Moses joke...

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Christmas Eve Hotel

A very religious couple was touring the Holy Land during the Christmas season and decided it would b...

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Church Pew Nap

I've always wanted a pew in my house.

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Church Sayings

* You are not too bad to come in. You are not too good to stay out. * Come in and let us prepare yo...

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Church Service Deaths

One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large plaque of n...

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Church Song Leader

There was a church where the preacher and the song leader were not getting along. This began to spil...

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Church at Disneyland

Dear Pastor, I think a lot more people would come to your church if you moved it to Disneyland. Lore...

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Conversion

Two old Jewish men are strolling down the street one day when they happen to walk by a Catholic chur...

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Crisis in the Gulf and Religious Conversion

Crisis in the Gulf

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Defining Diagnostic

A diagnostic is someone who doesn't know whether there are two gods.

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Defining Puritanism

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

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Devil = Dad?

Two youngsters were walking home from Sunday School, each deep in his own thoughts. Finally, one sai...

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Devil's Dad Theory

Two youngsters were walking home from Sunday School, each deep in his own thoughts. Finally one said...

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Divine Golf

Jesus and St. Peter go out to play golf.

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Divine Parking

An Irishman Looking for a Parking Place

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Divine Sign

Four members of the clergy had a theological argument, with the three male ministers siding against ...