Science Jokes

A Positive Difference

A man died knowing he made a positive difference in the world.

Absolute Zero

I told my friend I was going to freeze myself to -273 degrees Celsius.

Actinium Arrest

Why was Actinium arrested?

Anti-Gravity Book

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.

Bad Chemistry Jokes

Why do people consistently make bad chemistry jokes?

Barometer Skyscraper Joke

Bismuth Business

I recently started a company that combines perchloric acid with random elements...

Black Holes

Black holes suck.

CERN Ducks

What do the ducks at CERN say?

Cell Cycle Fight

A biology joke:

Chemist Funeral

What do you do when a chemist dies?

Chemistry Class

I was in chemistry class today...

Chemistry Jokes

I would tell you another chemistry joke...

Chemistry Lab Mishap

Do you want to hear a story about potassium?

Coolest Element

Which is the coolest element?

Copper and Aluminum

What did the copper anode say to the aluminum cathode prior to electroplating?

Copper and Zinc

What do you get when you cross copper and zinc?

Covalent Bond

All the protons went to a party...

Dead Scientist

What do you do with a scientist when he dies?

Einstein's Stage Name

Not everybody knows that Einstein moonlighted at a New York club when he wasn't teaching...

Einstein's Theory

Is Einstein's theory good?

Electrical Engineering Woes

The problem with majoring in Electrical Engineering...

Elemental Bar Jokes

Argon walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here." Argon doesn't ...

Elemental Puns

Someone asked me, "Hey, know any good jokes about sodium?"

Evaporating Aquarium Water

This other guy worked at an aquarium store. Late one night he was cleaning up when the phone rang. H...

Faster Than Light

"We don't serve faster-than-light neutrinos here."

Faster-Than-Light Neutrino

"We don't allow faster-than-light neutrinos in here," says the bartender.

Frog's Future

A male frog calls a psychic hotline and is told he'll meet a beautiful lady frog.

Frozen Gases

What do they call Helium, Neon, Argon, and Krypton on a really cold planet?

Genetic Experiment

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a rhino?

Geology Professor

I just found out that my geology professor passed away.

Gold Bar

A bar of gold walks into a bar.

H2O Too

Two men walk into a bar.

Helium Laugh

What is the reaction of two helium atoms when they hear a joke?

Helium in a Bar

So, a helium atom walks into a bar...

Higgs Boson Pilgrim

So a Higgs boson boards the Mayflower...

Hipster Compound

Did you hear about the hipster compound?

I'm Positive

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.

Ionic Bond

When apart, sodium and chlorine are harmful. When they form a bond, they are harmless to humans.

Iron Man Chemistry

What do you call Iron Man?

Jokes About Sodium

Do I know any jokes about Sodium?

Lab Partner

I think my lab partner and I are finally hitting it off.

Lightning Myth

MYTH: If it is not raining, then there is no danger from lightning! FACT: The truth is, lightning o...

Möbius Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip?

Neutrino Knock Knock

A faster-than-light neutrino.

Neutrino in a Bar

A neutrino enters a bar.

Neutron Bar Tab

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender how much a drink costs.

Neutron in a Bar

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the barman, "Hey, how much for a drink?"

Noble Argon

Argon walks into a bar.

Organic Mathematicians

What do organic mathematicians throw into their fireplaces?