Benny and the Magic Urn

Benny was an extreme bargain hunter whose entire home was furnished with items found at yard sales and in neighbors' cast-off piles.

One day, Benny finds a cool-looking urn at a yard sale. The owner, looking terrified, tells him, "That thing is nothing but trouble! Just take it for free!" Benny takes it home and starts to polish it. Suddenly, a genie appears and offers him three wishes, but with one strict condition: Benny must never shave his face, or something terrible will happen. For his first wish, Benny asks to be married to a beautiful movie star. Poof! He’s in a grocery store, knocks over a display of soup cans, and the actress helps him pick them up. They fall in love and marry within a week. However, after a few months, she tells him, "I have to attend red carpet events, and I can't be seen with a sloppy guy like you. Shave, or I'm leaving!" Benny refuses, remembering the genie's warning, so she leaves. For his second wish, he asks to marry a famous supermodel. It happens again: they meet on a jogging trail, marry, but eventually, she demands he shave for her high-fashion events. Benny refuses again, and she leaves. For his final wish, Benny chooses a woman who is already married to an NFL star. The genie transports him to a game where the husband gets injured. The woman sees Benny’s grizzly look, falls for him instantly, and they marry. But a week later, even she demands he shave. Benny, tired of the itching and having no wishes left, decides to risk it. He goes into the bathroom and shaves off the last bit of hair. Suddenly—POOF! His wife runs into the bathroom to find nothing but smoke. As it clears, she sees the urn sitting in the sink surrounded by beard hair. And the moral of the story? A shave in the sink is worth two in the bush.