Technology Jokes

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"G4" Macintosh Computers - EDITED

"G4" Apple's new line of Macintosh Computers that make you say "Gee, that's four times faster than ...

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"GHZ" and the New Computer TEST

"GHZ - pronounced GIGA-Hurts" The new physical / mental condition that occurs the "Nanosecond" after...

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"Hard Drive" Sales Tactic

"Hard Drive" The oft used sales tactic by commission based computer salesmen, commonly seen immedia...

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"Nanosecond" Computer Definition

"Nanosecond" The time it takes for your "State of the Art" computer to become obsolete.

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"Obsolete" Computer Definition

"Obsolete" The term describing any computer you have purchased. [NOTE: See Nanosecond]

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"State of the Art" Computer Definition

"State of the Art" Any computer you can't really afford and your wife does not want you to buy. [NOT...

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"Syntax Error" and Computer Purchase

"Syntax Error" Walking into any computer store and saying "Hello, I would like to buy the fastest c...

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10 Types of People

There are 10 types of people in this world...

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1080p

What is your New Year's resolution?

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3D Kindle

I just bought a 3D Kindle.

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AOL Misspellings

AOL REVENUE PLAN -- 5 CENT MISSPELLINGS In a brilliant marketing move, America On Line announced to...

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Airplane Mode

I turned my phone onto "Airplane mode" and threw it into the air.

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Apple Gifts

I bought Apple gifts for the whole family.

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Apple User Stereotype

How can you tell if someone uses Apple products?

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Atheist God Mode

Why are atheists so resistant to video game cheats?

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Binary Types

There are 10 kinds of people in this world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

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Busy Redditor

How do you keep a Redditor busy for hours?

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Check Disks

Customer: "I am getting an error on my computer" Tech Support: "What kind of error?" Customer: "It s...

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Clean Music

I accidentally left my iPod in the washer and dryer...

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Computer Illiteracy

Customer: "I have Microword Soft." Customer: "Microwave Windows?" Customer: "Will this upgrade inc...

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Computer vs. Human Mistakes

A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years make.

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Computerized Airliner

The world's first fully computerized airliner was ready for its maiden flight without pilots or crew...

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Deep Reddit Thoughts

What do you call it when you think deeply about something you just saw on Reddit?

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Developer Walk

So, a developer walks into a var...

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Disabling Cookies

My internet wasn't working yesterday...

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E-Mail Commandments

Thou shalt include a clear and specific subject line. Thou shalt edit any quoted text down to the m...

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Fax Machine Showdown

Once there was a man who prided himself on having all of the latest gadgets for his car. One day a y...

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Fencing Redditors

Why do Redditors make such good fencers?

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Get in the Karma

What did Reddit say to his elderly mother when he tried to take her to a nursing home?

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Grandfather's Mole

My grandfather has recently started a course called "Computers for the Terrified." He's nearly eight...

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HTML Confusion

Catherine tells me that she was telling Judi about her exam as part of the hiring process for a new ...

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High Resolution

My New Year's resolution...

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Holding Him Wrong

Steve Jobs isn't really dead.

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Holding Steve Jobs Wrong

Steve Jobs isn't really dead.

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Husband's Frustration with a New Phone

Moonchild's husband called her at work on the new cordless phone (obviously the one that Judi finall...

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Incorrect Passwords

Some guy changed all his passwords to 'incorrect'.

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Internet Logic

This morning my fiancé rolls over and says, “Honey, I think I have a fever this morning.”

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John Smith's Email

I feel bad for people named John Smith.

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Kangaroos vs. Helicopters

The reuse of some object-oriented code has caused tactical headaches for Australia's armed forces. A...

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Kernel Panic

Yo momma is so dumb...

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Kinect Injury

A Kinect game made me angry enough to throw the controller at the wall.

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Landscape Navigator Problem

Tech: "What seems to be the problem?" Customer: "I seem to be having problems running my Landscape N...

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Linux Geeks

Why are Linux geeks very introverted?

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MS-DOS Confusion

While in art school, where we mostly worked with Amigas and Macs, a Spanish exchange student asked m...

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Man vs. Machine

A computer once beat me at chess.

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Microsoft Toaster

If toasters were made by Microsoft, then this would be the case: - *Every* time you bought a loaf of...

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Microsoft and Baby Gates

For the first time in, oh, a decade, I think, something from Microsoft shipped on time: Rory John Ga...

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More Meg

The place where a friend of mine works was going through the process of upgrading all of their compu...

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No App for That

So apparently there isn't an app for pancreatic cancer.

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OS X Def Leppard

Have you heard of OS X Def Leppard?