Absurdist Jokes
24 jokes
Big Green Killer
What's big, green, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you?
🤪Brad Pitt's Lawn Ornament
"I used to be Brad Pitt's lawn ornament."
🤪Brick Car
So there's a brick car that lost a tire. How many pancakes can you fit in a dog house?
🤪DNA Experiment
What do you get when you combine human DNA with a goat?
🤪Falling Pool Table
What is big, green, fuzzy, has four legs, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree?
🤪Grey Pints
What is grey and comes in pints?
🤪Inconsistent Resolutions
My New Year's resolutions are:
🤪Jay-Z's Reason
Why did Jay-Z cross the road?
🤪Kickboxing Chess
If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.
🤪Lemon Water Gun
If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a water gun and shoot other people in the eyes.
🤪Literal Sandwiches
General James: "Where's Johnson?" Private Ham Sandwich: "I'm not sure. Hey, do you know where Johns...
🤪Mad Cow Disease
Two cows are talking in a field.
🤪Man and Fish
Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day.
🤪Numerologist vs Artichoke
What is the difference between a numerologist and an artichoke?
🤪Orange Head Wish
A guy is walking down the street when he sees a man with a big, round, orange head walking with a go...
🤪Pilot Bread
Why did the plane crash?
🤪Salmon's Birthday
A man walks into a bakery with a salmon under his arm. He asks the woman behind the counter, "Excuse...
🤪Surrealist Lightbulb
How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
🤪Talking Muffin
Two muffins are baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Is it getting hot in her...
🤪The Helicopter Cow
Two cows are standing in a field.
🤪The Herring Riddle
Saul and Abe are walking down the street...
🤪The Musical Quartet
Two friends are talking:
🤪The Oort Cloud
Vladimir Putin, Fidel Castro, and the Oort Cloud are riding on a train.
🤪Two Fish in a Tank Joke
So, there are these two fish in a tank...